I’m the guy who never has anything good to say about anything (I guess that means I shouldn’t be saying anything at all).

I’m the guy who always has the opposing viewpoint (just to make everyone mad, my friends say).

I’m the guy who always has to be different than everyone else.

It’s only because I won’t sell my soul or sacrifice my first born to watch HBO’s “The Sopranos.”

I actually think about barfing when I think about “The Sopranos.” That’s not the show’s fault. It’s Julian’s. He was this hip philosophy major from college – with side-burns that connected to his turtle neck – who asked once if I’d “witnessed” a recent episode of the popular mob series (this was back in 2003). I hadn’t. He replied, “Too bad bro, it was spiritual.”

It was embarrassing (mostly for him). But after being ridiculed by other fanatics, apparently I really had been missing out on some pay-per-view miracle. I was too busy watching episodes of “Whose Line is it Anyway?” when I should have been soiling myself over Tony and the boys.

I finally saw that life-changing Sopranos episode Julian had referred me to. You probably saw it too. It’s the one where Tony has a weird dream, freaks out, hallucinates and spends the rest of the hour telling his shrink about it. Oh wait, that’s every episode!

My response to Julian and other Sopranos fanatics is; don’t mistake good filler for genius.