I’m in the express checkout line at the supermarket with a diet soda and some pre-packaged sushi. Hey, what can be better than raw fish than day-old raw fish, right? Better yet, I’m in the candy-free lane. In all the other lanes, there are small children begging mom for eight 9-cent candy bars. In my lane, there’s none of that. Here the small children beg mom for the $18 copy of “Shrek 2.”

Suddenly, all those signs they have up in grocery store parking lots that say “Reserved for Mothers with Small Children” are starting to make sense. They’re not doing mom a favor, they’re doing themselves a favor. When will parents ever learn: Letting preschoolers shop without a list is always a mistake.

Face it, you’re never going to see a sign in the parking lot that says “Reserved for Parents Who Hired Baby-sitters” because they’re not going to fall for that DVD-in-the-checkout-line scam.