If text messaging is cool, consider me Ted Kaczynski (without the bombs and manifestos, just the shack in Montana and the sweet mug-shot).

Just never gotten into “texting.” Not built for the future. Mainly because my fingers have tremendous girth. They just won’t mesh with the sleek key-pad of the Motorola “Crazr” (I could have been the next Liberace if only they made Big n’ Tall pianos).

“But text messaging is so fun,” friends say. “Why not give it a try?” Even if my typing skills were decent, it’s not like I can’t talk faster – so what if it’s a bit slurred? Regardless, why pay extra to not make any sense either way?

“But Mike, how will I ever be able to tell you from a booth inside a Denny’s Restaurant at 3 a.m. that the short-order cook looks just like you if your phone won’t accept text messages?”

There are a few ways to communicate with the unsophisticated.

Take the time and write out a heartfelt letter: