DEAR LITTLE MISS KNOW-IT-ALL: My fiancé and I want to hold our wedding in a historic, 80-room castle in France and fly all our friends and family in for free. At the reception, we want a 12-course French meal served by waiters wearing outfits of my own design. The guests must wear all black or all white. I’ve already told my friends they can’t be bridesmaids unless they weigh less than 110 pounds.

The bad news is that my Dad says he won’t pay for it. He thinks we’re too young (Geez, I’ll be 20 in a few years). He said he’d pay for a wedding in our local church if we invite the same old boring friends and family we see every day. And only if my fiancé, Tommy, gets a job. What should I do? – Why Me in Massachusetts

DEAR WHY ME: Can’t you see that your control-freak Dad is trying to wreck your life? You’ve got to get out of that house as soon as possible by marrying Tommy. He sounds dreamy. As soon as you’re married, you’ll find that all your problems will magically disappear. Suddenly, you’ll be happy with the way you look and you’ll be comfortable with your weight. Everyone will suddenly like you, even those snobby kids at your old high school.