A few years ago, there was a news story about a guy who started selling bottled water for dogs. I told my friends that dogs loved it because the water probably came from his toilet.

They say man is the only animal that can laugh. I say man is the only animal that won’t drink out of a toilet, unless that man is pledging a fraternity.

Actually, the only animals I know for sure that like to drink from toilets are cats and dogs, but I’m sure it goes for lots of animals. And lots of pledges. Now we find out that most of the billions of dollars we humans spent on bottled water last year was for plain, old tap water that we could have gotten free from the kitchen sink.

Apparently a lot of people find tap water tastes better after they put it in a plastic bottle, put a picture of a mountain on it, fly it half way across the world and charge you a $1.29 for it. It’s not plain, old tap water then. It’s imported, stickered tap water. You know it’s good because it comes from a country where they can’t drink the tap water. They’re water connoisseurs.

“This bottle is a marvelous blend of hydrogen and oxygen – is that calcium I smell? Perhaps a bouquet of minerals? Robert Parker rates it a 92.”