We have been stuck behind Mr. and Mrs. Leaf Peeper for 45 minutes. Sue and I are on our way home from the grocery store – they are on vacation. It’s nice to be on vacation, to not have a worry in the world, to take the time to smell the roses, to wander wherever the wind blows you, to be awed by the wonder of nature, to drink in the majestic beauty of this country, to slow down and admire every new vista in brilliant, flaming colors. But do you have to do it in front of us?

“Let’s ram them,” Sue said.

I’m not sure she knew she was thinking aloud, but she had read my mind. Dumb, stupid nature. Dumb, stupid beauty. We’ve got things to do. It must be swell to have the time to look at dead leaves, but we’ve got gutters to clean, bulbs to plant, patio furniture to stow away for the winter, storm windows to install. Most of all, I’ve got a lawn full of beautiful leaves to rake. Not so beautiful when they’re knee-deep on your front lawn. Are they, Mr. and Mrs. Foliage Connoisseur?