What luck! “Hannah Montana,” is coming to your town for a live concert and you’ve got a daughter or two between the ages of 6 and 13. What could possibly be better? An IRS audit? A wisdom tooth extraction? A nice, long, front-porch visit with four Jehovah Witnesses on your day off, when all you wanted to do was read the latest Oprah’s Book Club pick?

For those of you who are dead, or pretending to be, “Hannah Montana” is a TV show about a teen singing sensation who spends half her time making records and going on tour. The other half of the time she is a normal high school student. Except for her family and best friends, none of the kids in her school knows she is Hannah Montana because she wears a blonde wig on stage and in school she is a brunette – and because they are stupid. (It’s OK for me to call people stupid because I are stupid, too.)