Seized-up and backfiring like a rusted farm truck with a tank full of slurry sliding around in the back, it takes all you’ve got to slosh out of bed in the morning when you’re sicker than a dog.

It’s one of the hardest challenges you’ll face in life: Not calling in to work when you look, feel and smell like a piping-hot plate of chipped beef on toast. But it’s a challenge you should overcome – because it’s a great opportunity to make your co-workers look bad and earn some serious brownie points with your boss.

It’s understandable if you want to stay home instead, though. The thought of peeling yourself away from the comfort of that sticky lunger’s nest you’ve been dripping, hacking and wheezing into all night in favor of a hot shower and a few hours of being active at work must be awful.

But rather than stay home, feel sorry for yourself and be a typical under-the-weather goldbricker, wouldn’t it be cooler to show up at work and trick people into thinking you’re a hero – someone that the rest of the office needs to look up to and take a lesson from, even though in reality they shouldn’t? Let’s put it this way: Doesn’t it sound better than sitting home all day on the couch, a sniveling, stinky, phlegm-gurgling mess that’s pickling themselves in a brine of soggy tissues, sweat pants and daytime television? Of course it does.