According to the American Dialect Society, the word of the year for 2007 was – may I have the envelope please – “Subprime!”

“Subprime” couldn’t be here tonight, he’s in Florida trying to sell a $2 million condo he never got to move into for pennies on the dollar.

Accepting the award on his behalf is last year’s word of the year, “plutoed.”

“Thank you, thank you very much. It’s good to be here tonight. Heck, it’s good to be anywhere. Like most of you, I didn’t even know there was such a thing as ‘word of the year’ until last year, when I was chosen over ‘climate canary’ and ‘ED.’ And let’s hear a big round of applause for the ‘Golden Globes’ for giving us their timeslot this year. Last year, as you remember, the ‘Word of the Year’ ceremony was on RFD-TV at 3 a.m. on a Sunday. The only person who watched the show was my mother, and she TiVo’ed it.

“I also have to say winning the word of the year award hasn’t done much for my career. Since becoming the word of the year in 2006, I’ve only been used 13 times, usually by people who write about words. If you don’t believe me, you can Google it.”