I like to look at the thermometer outside my kitchen window first thing in the morning. I could just listen to the radio or the TV, but I want to know what the temperature is outside my door, not their door. Why do they always tell us the temperature at the airport? Who lives at the airport? And why do they muddy everything up by saying “and with the wind it will feel like minus 2.” No, it won’t. Minus 2 feels like minus 2. And 10 above feels like 10 above. If the wind is blowing, that’s fine, but don’t try to tell me what it feels like.

“Oh,” the weather experts say, “that’s what it feels like on bare skin.” Well who is going outside in a bikini when it’s 10 degrees outside? If you’re wearing a bathing suit in the middle of the winter, the low temperatures aren’t your biggest problem. Besides, everyone feels the temperature differently. Sue thinks minus 2 is T-shirt weather. I start wearing sweaters when it hits 63. We need a wind-chill index tacked onto the real temperature like Britney Spears needs another baby.