Monica hated her duffer ex-husband so much that when she felt it was time to start over, she made it a hard-and-fast rule that she wouldn’t date any golfers. That would be understandable if golf was the reason their marriage tanked, but it wasn’t. Tom’s string of flagrant infidelities, his drug and drinking problems, his stalker-like behavior and his chronic unemployment probably had a lot more to do with Monica’s unhappiness than his scratch-golf game.

But the last thing anyone wants to hear just after a devastating divorce is, “We all knew it wouldn’t last. No one could ever figure out why you married the creep.” Even though I said it in the nicest possible way, Monica didn’t speak to me for weeks.

Now, she’s told all her friends that she’s ready to start dating. That’s the attitude. When you fall down, get back up. Even though she dreads the thought of dating, she’s tough and willing to put up with a lot of disappointment. But even if you say it in the nicest possible way, the last thing a woman over 40 wants to hear when she’s looking for dates is that she’s “got about as much chance of finding a man as Adam Sandler has of winning an Oscar.”