A steaming-hot celebrity couple just had a baby! Wow! What incredible people they must be. Not only can they act, but they can make a baby, too! Everyone knows how hard it is to make a baby. It’s not like any two people can do it the very first time they try, no matter what high school they’re in. And even if they do, isn’t a celebrity baby better than all other babies because her parents are famous?

It’s a well-known fact that the children of the rich and famous are happier than other children and that they always turn out to be the most giving, sincere, wonderful grownups. That’s why we buy magazines with their pictures on the covers.

Thank goodness Us Weekly and People pay top dollar to feature those baby pictures, or we might not even know the celebrity had a baby. It’s sad to think that before Us and People started making big-money deals for the pictures of celebrity spawn that there must have been thousands of celebrity babies who never received the recognition they deserved.

And let’s face it, having a celebrity baby is a good career move. By having a baby, mom and dad get the kind of publicity they would get only by checking into Betty Ford or by having a domestic dispute – or by suddenly appearing on “The View” looking 20 years younger than they did last week.