Even with the beautiful weather, the county’s five-day ban on outdoor fires probably killed a lot of people’s weekend plans. Mine included.

If your back-up plan is to attend a formal spring-fling cocktail party – now that you can’t spend the evening tending to that burning pile of old mattresses and roof shingles – it’s good to be prepared with discussion topics you can throw out that’ll let the upper crust think you’re well within your league.

Below are some good party tips, along with conversation starters you can print off and use on flash cards.

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Tip #1: Obscure background information always sparks and holds people’s interest. Don’t worry if your history knowledge is a little rusty. Feel free to make stuff up (they’ll be so astounded they’ll probably never check). Not only will people never forget the conversation, they’ll never forget you.