I complained about the cold all winter long, now I’m complaining about the heat. Isn’t there some place on this entire planet that’s livable all year round? Some place where it’s comfortable in the summer and winter, not too hot, not too cold – some place that is just right? Of course there is, Goldilocks, but you have to be a multi-millionaire to live there. Normal working stiffs, however, have as much of a chance of living on the beach in San Diego or Kauai as Paris Hilton has of winning the Nobel Prize for chemistry.

The rest of us are stuck in places where it is too hot in the summer and too cold in the winter. Or too cold or too hot all the time. Everyone tries to convince themselves that it’s not so bad, that they would never live anywhere else because there is no place like home. I talk to people all the time who say they would never move to Florida or Arizona. “We’re not Florida people,” they say. “We like the four seasons.” I run into them a year later and they’re as tan as Louis Vuitton bag and they’ve bought a place in Sarasota or Tempe.

“I thought you weren’t snowbird people?”

“Oh, we didn’t move for the weather. We just want to be close to the grandkids.”

“But your grandkids live in Winnipeg.”

“Yes, now they have a place to come visit us in the winter.”