I got a letter from a collection agency representing one of my doctors. One of my many, many doctors. Let’s see, they can open your chest and transplant your heart, they can reattach your arm, they can drill a hole in your head and remove a brain tumor, but they can’t send out a bill in a timely fashion? If the billing department practiced surgery, they’d reattach your heart to your arm and insert brain tumors into your head.

The bill I got was for a frangiomicodebluepulmintisismialrhemstaccardioheumictomy, date of service four years ago. There were absolutely no hints or clues as to what this procedure might have been or what it was for, no explanation for why my insurance didn’t pay for it. More important, did it cure me? Of what? And if it didn’t work, should I still pay the bill?