About two weeks ago, I started noticing ads for a movie that opens Thanksgiving Day. It is the soft-focus, romantic holiday comedy, “Ninja Assassin.” Too bad the ad is filled with deadly throwing stars and knife-wielding, wall-walking martial artists who kick people in the face and gut enemies in super slow-mo. What could say “Thanksgiving” more than “Ninja Assassin”?

Maybe “The Road,” a movie about a dying man and his son as they trek through the barren waste of what used to be America, escaping from roving gangs of starving survivors who are trying to eat them. Wow, talk about the feel-good movie of the year. And just the kind of thing you want to see after eating a big, heavy meal. Bring the kids, they’ll love it!

“Hurry up and pass the turkey, we’ve got to get to the theater before all the good seats are taken.”