Shayne On You: Dealing With The Mother-in-law
Published: January 20th, 2010
By: Maggie Shayne

Shayne on You: Dealing with the mother-in-law

Dear Maggie,

I love my mother-in-law. We get along great, and talk often, and things have seemed almost too good to be true with her. But lately, I’ve felt as if she’s been very subtly criticizing me. For example, she needed to do something strenuous to test her new blood pressure medicine, and the strenuous thing she decided to do was clean out the cupboards. (We live in my husband’s house, so it wasn’t the first time – just the first time since we’ve been married.) And then the other day, she spent ten minutes telling me how to make my calves appear more slender. I didn’t know they were fat! How should I respond, and how can I make her stop these slight little jabs?

Signed,

Sensitive Bride

Dear Sensitive,

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Don’t respond at all now. It’s happened, it’s over, and the time to respond has passed. I know it’s hard, but just try to keep from saying much about any of it. It’s over, let it go. Remind yourself that she’s grown used to being the only “woman of the house” at your husband’s place. It’s going to take her a little time to get used to the notion that it’s your place now.

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