Four hours into Monday night’s school board meeting, I realized how unprepared I had been for what was turning out to be one of the longest meetings in the history of man.

Or, at least one of the longest I’ve had the dubious privilege to attend.

I was tired, hungry and, having already downed the last of my water ration, more than a little thirsty. Boredom had long since set in, and my derriere was, frankly, numb from sitting for so long.

Little did I know at that point that I’d still have another hour and a half to go before the meeting would finally be adjourned. More than adequate time to lament my inadequate planning, and vow to never let it happen again.

As I sat, waiting out the second executive session of the evening – which lasted a whopping four hours, and came on the heels of a one-hour closed door session at the start of the meeting – I began to sketch out a list of must-have’s for future board meetings.

I call it my School Board Meeting Survival Guide.

And rather than keep this precious and timely information to myself, I’ve decided to share it for the good of all mankind.

To start, I’ve drawn up a list of necessities no meeting-goer should be without for your average, run-of-the-mill school board gathering.