For once, I have finished my Christmas shopping early. I just went over my list to make sure that I hadn’t forgotten anyone. It was pretty easy; this year, everybody’s getting the same thing from me. Nothing.

It really saves on the wrapping paper and the trips to the store. And it lets me avoid Black Friday completely. By giving my friends and family the gift of nothing and having them return the favor, they won’t have to wrap anything, they can sit home on Black Friday, putter around the house, relax and spend time with their family. They won’t have to wait in line at the post office; they won’t have to risk being trampled by frenzied crowds; they won’t have to circle the mall parking lot for 20 minutes trying to find a spot. In short, the gift of nothing is not a chintzy gift.

I was never any good at tying bows, anyway. I will probably get long, effusive thank you notes from people for having the guts to give them the gift of bubkes.

Sue is not so sure. She thinks I will be shunned. It’s a chance I’m willing to take. Will Aunt Betsey be that upset because I didn’t get her The Clapper again?