The idea of showing clips of soon-to-be released movies to an audience in a movie theater is a no-brainer. It’s a captive audience that likes movies enough to brave roving gangs of teenage cell-phone addicts and scary, multi-story parking garages. It’s an audience that is willing to brave freeway traffic and inconvenient timing to come sit in a tsheater that smells of carpet cleaner, fake butter and Febreze, all to see clips of coming attractions that aren’t attractive.

First of all, nachos? In a dark movie theater? Who thought that would be a good idea – the guy with the theater’s carpet-cleaning contract? And if you’re sitting down not moving a muscle for two hours, should you really be eating nachos? Or buttered popcorn? Or malted milk balls? I don’t want to be a killjoy, but unless you jogged to the theater from your house, you should probably be mindful of your snacking. I watch movies at home, and never have a craving for Dots and Milky Ways; why do we think the movie-watching experience needs fattening food? Isn’t watching a hard-working actor make $20 million enough fun for a couple of hours?