I stuffed an extra bottle of pepper spray in my coat pocket and patted myself down to make sure I hadn’t forgotten to bring my brass knuckles, nunchucks and a blackjack. My fingernails were filed to sharp points, and I wore steel-toed boots and a Kevlar vest.

Was I totally prepared for this mission? Would I make it back in one piece? I considered adding football pads, but they might have caused more problems than they solved in a tight space. I did go with wrist guards and knee braces. I double-checked my pockets and ran through the checklist in my head. Good thing; I almost forgot my shopping list. That would have been a rookie mistake – to go Black Friday shopping without a list. On that path lies certain death.

Full of the Black Friday spirit, I headed to the mall. It wouldn’t be light yet for four hours, the perfect time to scout the place, to check the perimeter, to plan my parking, to take the high ground before the enemy takes the field.