Considering the sheer number of differing theories out there – conspiratorial, imagined or even ... gasp ... those grounded in reality – it’s no wonder our country stands so divided at this stage of the game. Face it, we’ve reached the boiling point and – sooner or later – we’re going to get burned, no matter one’s religious, political, financial or philosophical stance.

It is, I’m sad to say, the great American decline, and it’s in full swing nowadays.

No matter the issue, no matter the discussion, we’re so firmly grounded on one side of the fence or the other that it’s become increasingly difficult to have any kind of rational conversation anymore, whether it’s the economy, any number of social issues (abortion and gay rights spring to mind) or even the weather. Trust me, any time some Fox News-watching, rabid conservative says the sun is shining some fanatical, evil, liberal lunatic such as myself (I’m the Skeletor ... err, the Cobra Commander ... or maybe the Emperor Palpatine of all liberals) will blame it on some scientific farce like climate change ... or good ol’ George Bush Jr., of course.

What can I say? We liberal crazies make the entire Klingon Empire look like a bunch of pansies.