If I were attorney general of Ohio, prosecutions in the Steubenville rape case wouldn't end with the conviction of two high school football players. In interviews, Mike DeWine indicated that he might seek additional charges, possibly obstruction of justice and failure to report child abuse.

Too bad Ohio has no law against criminal stupidity, or he could indict that Steubenville football coach who allegedly told a New York Times reporter, "You're going to get yours. And if you don't get yours, somebody close to you will."

No wonder his players acted like louts. The guy sounds like he's auditioning to play Coach Knuckledragger in "Fast Times at Neanderthal High."

But the adults I'd really like to see brought to justice are those who helped a bunch of 16-year-old high school kids get knee-walking drunk and provided them unchaperoned party houses to do it in. Alas, for reasons having to do with our willfully shallow national conversation about "gender issues" (as the deepest thinkers style them), it's considered controversial to point out that both the victim and her assailants were drunker than...

Well, drunker than what? Than Lindsay Lohan? Than a peach orchard boar, as country folks say? Drunker than Dean Martin, the late crooner and comic from Steubenville who used to impersonate an amiable sot in his nightclub act?