I have made it devilishly hard for hackers to steal nude pictures of me off my computer -- by not taking any. It's so much simpler than trying to remember a big, long password and trying to keep the photos private.

"Even if you had nude pictures, no one in their right mind would hack them," Sue said. "Every time we go through security at the airport I can hear the TSA people vomiting in the back room. They want to put you on the 'no fly' list so they don't ever have to see your cellulite again. It's like you're hoarding the stuff."

"Don't you think that at the end of a long day, the TSA workers probably go home and look at pictures of fully dressed people? Who would be surprised to find out they have a stash of L.L. Bean catalogs under their mattresses? But then, maybe we're the perverted ones. It seems that you and I are the only people on the planet who don't have nude pictures of ourselves on our computers."

"Speak for yourself."

"What?"

"Just kidding. I guess something's wrong with us," she said. "We're always wearing clothes. All we've got is pictures of ourselves on vacation wearing clothes, in family pictures wearing clothes, at weddings, reunions and funerals, all the time wearing clothes. What were we thinking? If a funeral isn't a good time to strip down and let it all hang out, when is?"