A million-dollar inspiration hit me after spending a week in the car driving across this great land of ours with Sue.

My idea would be a new variation on the GPS navigation systems in cars now. Instead of the voice coming from the dashboard, it would use the speakers in the backseat and say things like, "Turn left, idiot! Not here, the next left!" And "Are you sure you know where you're going?" And of course, "You know the speed limit is 45 here."

How helpful would that be? Not so much for the driver, but for the passenger, who could now do crossword puzzles or play Candy Crush instead of wasting time helping to navigate. At least then someone could enjoy the drive.

Another million-dollar idea I had was for an app that could tell me how long I'd be without cellphone service. "Your phone will reconnect to the modern world in one day and 16 hours."

One thing I never realized about the fruited plain is how big it is. It goes on and on and on and on. Now I know how a gerbil must feel on its wheel. No matter how fast you go, the view never changes.

"The speed limit here is 65."

"Did you say something?"

"I'm just saying the speed limit here is 65."